there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
