um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
