I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
cat food counts as protein by the way
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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