my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
