yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
