I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
