Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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