I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
