Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
