he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
