I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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