Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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