No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
