You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just gift wrapped bread.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
