He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
