i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
