the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
why do cheetos always look like penises
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize