escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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