Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
