Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
