im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Damn victory sex feels great
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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