do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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