Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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