Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
