I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
