Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"

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(613): View more from Ontario

my text book just quoted the cookie monster

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.

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(917): View more from New York City

I just found a bag of teeth...

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(864): View more from South Carolina

theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college

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(650): View more from California

i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra

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(702): View more from Nevada

Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit

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(973): View more from New Jersey

She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'

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(860): View more from Connecticut

so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright

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