The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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