One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you didnt know i had herpes?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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