I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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