I need help removing her.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
