dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
