You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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