I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
