i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize