I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
