the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
