The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
operation have a gay friend backfired
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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