what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
FUCK WHALES
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
