i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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