Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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