i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
