Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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