he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Found your dick twin last night
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
