North Korea, Best Korea!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize