She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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