Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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