Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize