He uses pillows to masturbate.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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