Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
