I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
