I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i came on her dog
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
