you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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