I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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