I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
