I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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