nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
