i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
