You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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