I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
