i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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