I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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