I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
