I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
