This dress was meant to end up on your floor
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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